Dreams

Lately I've been having a re-occurring dream. It's almost the same every time. I am at college, my mind says it's UIUC but the locations aren't locations on campus. I'm always super bundled up like it's freezing outside and carrying several heavy books. I always start inside a building, frantically trying to find an exit to reach my next class. I'm sweating since I'm so bundled up but I'm still inside. Everyone I ask for help is mean to me and in one dream I ended up on the floor outside a classroom crying. It's like the armory or altgeld with hallways that just end or go up to a single classroom. In one dream, I made it outside and I was just as lost and people were still just as mean.

I've decided that it can be decoded to describe my feelings about life. I feel lost, career-wise. I can't find anything in the theatre field. I'm not particularly happy working at the daycare. I'm not sure what my other options are, what would make me happy. I worry that it's pointless to go to grad school because by the time I finish I will want kids and what's the point of a degree if I'm not going to use it for a few years? I think people are mean because I am looking for directions and no one else can really give me the direction I need. I'm not sure why I'm bundled up and carrying heavy books though. Perhaps just to make the frustration that much greater?